Preparing for a new baby can be lots of fun – sorting adorable clothes, decorating the nursery, and dreaming of holding your little one in your arms. Possibly you have taken the classes and read all the books about newborn care.
But what about your transformation into a new parent?
If you are wondering if a coach would be beneficial as you move into parenthood – and working parenthood, I invite you to consider the following five questions:
#1 How well do you handle transitions or potentially stressful situations?
Think about past periods of transition or stress – getting married, moving into a new place, changing jobs, or death of a loved one for example.
How did you handle it? Are you a planner or a ‘roll with it’ person? What tools and strategies did you use? What did you do when things didn’t go as you planned?
How well did you and your partner work together? Were you on the same page? Did you communicate well? Did it make you stronger as a couple or challenge your relationship?
I’m not saying that if you sailed through these past life transitions that becoming a parent is going to be smooth waters. Or that if you struggled then you will now. But examining your past may give you clues to how you will navigate the parenthood journey.
If you look back at these times with a sense of anxiety, overwhelm, isolation, or dissatisfaction, you might benefit from working with a coach. She can provide you with a sense of calm and control as you become a parent.
#2 Do you have a supportive community (friends, family, spiritual, neighbors, etc) that you can turn to when you need a hand?
There is a reason there are so many sayings about needing a village and finding your people. This is wisdom is being passed down from people who know that we are not meant to parent alone.
Take a moment to think about the people around you. Will they be helpful when your baby arrives? If you aren’t sure, ask yourself how supportive they were during the stressful transitions in the previous question. How did their presence (or absence) make you feel?
If you don’t have a strong community around you, a coach can be a surrogate for that support and help you build meaningful connections in your community that give you a strong foundation for the years to come.
#3 Do you have experience with newborns? How do you feel when you think about all the new skills you will be learning?
If you don’t have experience, don’t worry. Most of what you learn is on-the-job training. Many folks embark on parenthood with no experience caring for newborns. You’ll prepare and take classes prenatally but until you have your baby in arms it is impossible to know exactly how to read their cues, what breastfeeding will be like, or how to function on broken sleep.
If you love to learn, roll with the punches, and thrive on new experiences, picking up these skills on the fly may be part of the excitement you feel when you think about the early weeks with your baby.
If unknowns cause you angst or concern, a coach can provide education and guidance in an approachable, customized manner that will build your confidence and knowledge one baby step at a time.
#4 Do you anticipate any extraordinary challenges during your pregnancy or when your baby arrives?
Life can be complicated and when you add a new baby, these complications can seem even more challenging. Think about what else might be happening in your life right now. Are you moving, changing jobs, or caring for another family member? Do you have medical issues that will need extra attention due to the pregnancy? Are there complications for you or the baby that you know will need to be addressed postpartum?
If you have layers of complexity, a coach can provide perspective, help you clarify your priorities, and be a safe space for you to process all that is going on in your life.
#5 Do you have a history of anxiety, depression, loneliness, or trauma that you worry might flare up during pregnancy or in the postpartum period?
Did you know that 20% of people are living with a mental health condition? And that women experience anxiety and depression twice as much as men (or at least report it more than men)? When you consider common triggers are stress, sleep deprivation, and isolation, you can understand why it is so important to focus on your mental wellness throughout pregnancy and the postpartum period.
If you are concerned about your mental wellness, a coach can work with you to help you create healthy habits, practice mindfulness and gratitude, and remind you how amazing you are. She can encourage you to use techniques that you had success with previously. With compassion, she can talk with you about any concerns that arise.
To be clear, coaches are not mental health professionals but are able to screen for perinatal mental health disorders and provide resources. If you are working with a therapist or counselor, a coach can complement and support the treatment plan that you have in place.
Parento Parents have access to expert parent coaches who are specifically trained in the parental leave and postpartum periods. Get started today to learn more about coaching and schedule your first coaching session.
