Congratulations! Your kiddo is ready for school. This is a BIG milestone for you and them, filled with excitement and also trepidation.
It’s normal for your child to experience some separation anxiety or nervousness about leaving you. There are several things you can do to make drop-off easier:
Reassure them. Let them know school is a safe place where they will have fun learning and making new friends. Remind them you will be back to pick them up later! You’ll only be gone for a few hours (or even half a day for shorter programs.)
Stay positive! If you seem worried, your child will pick up on that. Smile and maintain an upbeat, encouraging attitude.
Short and sweet goodbyes. Long drawn-out goodbyes can increase anxiety. A quick hug and kiss with reassurance you’ll return is best. Be short and sweet: I’m leaving now but I’ll be back at 1pm to pick you up.
Let teachers help. Teachers are experienced with separation transitions. Inform them of any concerns and let them guide your child into the classroom activities and routines.
The beginning is the hardest, but it gets easier!
Morning Routines
Establishing a consistent morning routine is important for helping young children successfully transition to their school day. Start by waking up at least an hour before you need to leave the house. This gives you extra time to avoid feeling rushed. Make a morning checklist with your child the night before, so they know what tasks they need to complete after waking up. For example, a checklist could include things like getting dressed, brushing teeth, eating breakfast, packing their backpack, and putting on their shoes. If you have a partner, divide responsibilities and figure out who is handling what.
Practice the morning routine together several times before the first day of school. Mimic what your actual school morning will be like. Set out their clothes, shoes, and backpack the night before to make the morning go more smoothly. Try having breakfast together to start the day on a calm, positive note. When the first school morning arrives, your child will know what to expect since you practiced multiple times. Starting a consistent routine makes the transition easier for both you and your student.
Managing the New Schedule
The new school schedule can take some adjusting for the whole family. Having a consistent morning and evening routine will help make the transition smoother.
Make a schedule for the whole family. Sit down together and map out your morning routine – when to wake up, eat breakfast, get dressed, etc. Do the same for the evening routine when kids get home. Post the schedule somewhere visible and go over it as a family until it becomes familiar.
Make it interactive and fun for kids. For young kids especially, a picture schedule can help them know what to expect and follow along. Use photos or drawings of them doing each step – waking up, eating breakfast, brushing teeth, etc. Check off each step as you go. You can find great schedule/routine ideas on Pinterest or Etsy.
Talk positively about the schedule and changes. Avoid saying things like “No more sleeping in!” or “Now we’ll have to be on time.” Instead, reframe it as an exciting step/milestone.
Be consistent and set alarms/reminders. Follow the same routine every school day, even if you’re tempted to hit snooze or skip breakfast when running late. For young kids, give a 5 minute warning before switching tasks to minimize tantrums. Consistency will help it feel familiar and go faster.
Preparing Your Child
The first day of kindergarten or elementary school is a big transition for young kids. They may feel anxious, nervous or unsure about the change – there are new kids, new surroundings, new schedules, even new toys! As a parent, you can help prepare your child and make the experience positive.
Talk about what to expect. Explain details about the school day like meeting the teacher, playing at recess, and riding the school bus. The more your child knows what to expect, the less anxious they may feel. Share your own positive memories of starting school.
Read books and watch shows about school. Seeing other characters go through the experience can help normalize it. Ask your child how the character is feeling and what they are most excited or nervous about. Some shows with school episodes are Bluey, Daniel Tiger, MIght Bheem, and Chip and Potato. You can also read books about going to kindergarten and first grade.
Express excitement and encouragement. Let your child know you believe they can handle this new challenge! Point out all the fun things about school like making new friends, new toys and games, going to new places, new “big kid” responsibilities, and more. Your confidence and positivity will reassure them.
Teach coping mechanisms. Practice techniques like deep breathing, positive self-talk, squeezing a stress ball, or listening to calming music. Role play what to do if they feel anxious or upset at school. Knowing how to self-soothe will build their resilience.
Reassure children it’s normal to be nervous. Many kids feel anxious about this big change, even if they don’t show it. Normalize anxiety and let them know the nervousness will pass once they get comfortable. Offer extra comfort and affection as they work through complex feelings.
The first day or week may be bumpy, but it will get better!
Managing Your Worries
It’s completely normal for parents to worry when their child starts school. This is a big transition, and it’s scary not being with your child all day. Here are some tips to help manage anxiety:
Remember almost all parents worry. You are not alone. Talk to other parents and you’ll see they have the same fears. This is a new experience for your child and for you as the parent.
Focus on the positive. Think about everything your child will gain by starting school – new friends, new learning experiences, independence. This will help reframe the experience.
Learn about the school’s security procedures. Speak to school staff about their safety policies. Most schools have detailed emergency plans in place. Knowing specifics can help put your mind at ease.
Share concerns with the school. Let your child’s teacher or the principal know you’re feeling anxious. They can provide reassurance and tell you how issues are handled. Being upfront helps.
The beginning of school is a learning process for everyone. Staying positive and responsive will help make the first few weeks smooth sailing.
